June 18 (UPI) — Four Philadelphia Eagles teammates got together to fire off dad jokes following mandatory minicamp.
Malcolm Jenkins and Trey Burton were the players performing the corny jokes as Chris Maragos officiated the scoring for the contest. The duo was teaching the jokes to defensive end Brandon Graham.
Graham became a father on February 4, 2016 when his daughter Emerson Abigail was born.
While most of the dad jokes were cringeworthy, a few of them got a laugh out of Graham. Jenkins won the contest by getting the defensive lineman to laugh the most.
“How do you make a tissue dance?,” Jenkins asked with the first joke.
“Put a little boogie in it,” he said.
Why did the crab not share?,” Burton asked.
“Because he was shellfish,” he said.
“You know what they say, 5 out of 4 people are bad at fractions,” Jenkins said.
Graham gave no reaction to that funny jab.
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?,” Burton asked.
“Nacho cheese,” he said.
The other jokes included: Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it; Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: Just in case he got a hole in one; Q: Do you know why there are fences around cemeteries? A: People are dying to get in; Q: Why did the coffee file a police report? A: Because it got mugged; Q: What’s Forest Gump’s password? A: OneForestOne; Q: Two peanuts were walking down the alley, one got assaulted; Q: Why couldn’t the bike stand up by itself? A: It was two tired; They said I had a heart of a lion, and also a lifetime ban at the zoo; and Q: What’s the leading cause of dry skin? A: Towels.
Jenkins is entering his 11th pro season. He was a Pro Bowler in 2015 and won a Super Bowl with the 2009 New Orleans Saints. Burton is entering his fourth season with the Eagles. He had 327 yards and a touchdown on 37 receptions in 15 games last season, starting four times. Graham, 29, is entering his eighth season with the Eagles. He had a career-high 59 tackles, 5.5 sacks, two forced fumbles and a fumble recovery in 16 starts last season. Maragos, 30, is entering his eighth pro season. He was a Super Bowl champion with the 2013 Seattle Seahawks.